No Time For Death

NO TIME FOR DEATH

Shirley Maxwell has gathered the media together to announce that her company, Wonder Labs, is back on the map with the unveiling of an incredible new invention: a time machine! Insiders say it was invented by lab assistant Nick Van Castle. Or was it really invented by has-been inventor Nathan Brandmark? Or was it stolen by Nathan who used it to go back in time and claim he invented it? Or the other way around? Whatever happened, one thing’s for sure: the clock is ticking down on someone.
Thursdays, May 11 through June 8
Thursday, June 22
THE SPAGHETTI WAREHOUSE
Syracuse, NY
315-475-1807 (after 4pm)
info@syracusespaghetti.com
Homestyle Homicide

HOMESTYLE HOMICIDE

The Freagan Family Reunion

Come a runnin’, cousins, ’cause it’s time again for the annual family reunion and the whole Freagan family is gonna be there! We’re gonna have vittles, singin’, hootin’ and hollerin’ and, of course, no family gathering would be complete without the annual pig-calling contest! Dang, you might even win a big ol’ slop bucket full of money! Yeehaw! Best watch your step on the farm this year, though. Pa’s been hitting the moonshine a might too hard and is about to lose the farm to that no good snake, Beauregard Hogwallerin! When the girls find out, somebody could end up on the barbecue!
Saturday, May 6
THE BURRSTONE INN
New Hartford, NY
315-797-2131
Big Louie Selfie

BIG LOUIE AND THE GANG THAT COULDN’T THINK STRAIGHT

You and the rest of the Bangalone Gang are in deep trouble. Big Louie’s been beaned by a bocci ball and now he ain’t thinking so good. The gang’s got to figure out what to do before arch rival gang leader “Muscles” Marinara has you rubbed out. You better move fast. Word on the street is that ruthless hitman Jake “The Weasel” is on the way.
Friday, April 21
DELTA LAKE INN
Rome, NY
315-533-7710
www.deltalakeinn.com
Florence

DEAD SILENT: Florence of Moravia

It’s 1927 and local radio personality Nevelle Haspin invites you to the broadcast of a gala reception for silent film diva Lorraine Bowes who is making a film portraying hometown hero and notorious WWI spy Florence Goode a.k.a. Hata Mahma. Joining Lorraine will be her leading man, if he’s sober, Roland DeHay, and Lorraine’s agent, Harold “Hawk” Toohey. Arriving without an invitation is nationally syndicated gossip columnist Helena Handbasquet. Be careful. These celebrities autograph with poisoned pens.
Thursday, April 27
TOOMEY RESIDENTIAL AND COMMUNITY SERVICES F/R
Lakeshore Yacht and Country Club
Cicero, NY
315-424-1845
More Info
Y Files

THE Y-Files

Where Are The Cows?

Sheriff Shelly Moganagle is calling an emergency town meeting for you and everybody else in Pine Bluffs to try and figure out where in the heck all these cows are disappearing to. Roland McBurger’s new hamburger joint? Cattle rustlers? Down at the Crazy Kegger folks are saying it’s alien cow abduction! The Sheriff is taking no chances and has called in the FBI. Be there when Special Agents Molding and Sulky arrive. They’ll need all the help they can get.
THE VIEW CENTER FOR ARTS & CULTURE
Old Forge, NY
315-369-6411
viewarts.org

Saturday, April 15

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CORTLAND COUNTY JR. FAIR FUNDRAISER
Cortland Country Music Park
Cortland, NY
607-345-6090
cortlandfair.com

Saturday, April 22
Death Takes A Cruise

DEATH TAKES A CRUISE

Pack your costume, grab your party hat, and step aboard our venerable riverboat, The Mississippi Mistress, as we prepare to set sail down the “Big Muddy” for New Orleans and Mardi Gras! Woooo-hooo! The mighty Captain “Crawdaddy” Cretin will help you navigate the shoals, sand bars, (and wet bars), while Scooter, the Porter, and your Cruise Director, Lucy Belle Juniper, see to your comfort and entertainment. Watch out for the other passengers (They look pretty suspicious). Someone might not make it to the “Big Easy” alive.

Friday, April 14
COLLOCA ESTATE WINERY
Sterling, NY
315-947-2069
collocawines.com
Deadly Inheritance

DEADLY INHERITANCE

The Matriarch of a wealthy family is gravely ill and wishing to settle her estate. First, her long lost younger son must be declared officially dead. That’s where the fun begins! Join in as you and the other intensely greedy relatives gather to memorialize “Little Dickie” and battle for position to receive the lion’s share of the family’s $13 billion fortune. Be careful at this gathering, however, the next memorial could be for you.
Friday, March 31
THE COALYARD
Deruyter, NY
315-852-9932
My Dead Lady

MY DEAD LADY

Professor Barry Biggins has a problem. Azalia Dimwittle has completely failed every attempt to elevate her from Cockney flower girl to aristocratic lady. She simply hasn’t gotten it, never will get it, and now everyone has just about had it. To make matters worse, she’s invited you and the rest of her conniving family over to the Professor’s house for her father’s birthday party. By George, I think she’s going to get it (if she doesn’t get them first).
Friday/Saturday
March 24 and 25 ***Sold Out***

Sunday
March 26
CORTLAND REPERTORY THEATER GUILD
Cortland, NY
800-427-6160
www.cortlandrep.org
Wee Bit O Murder

A WEE BIT O’ MURDER

Holy St. Patrick on a stick! Someone has stolen the pot of gold and now you and all the other leprechauns of Clover Union Local Number 7 have your little tails in a spin. The president of your local, Jimmy Jack Daniels O’Toole, is demanding that you get your wee bottoms over to the pub as fast as your little feet can go. If the International Fellowship of Little Knickers finds out about this, you’ll all be turned into garden gnomes!
THE SPAGHETTI WAREHOUSE
Syracuse, NY
315-475-1807
info@syracusespaghetti.com

Thursdays, March 16 through April 13

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DRYDEN ROTARY FUNDRAISER
Dryden American Legion
Dryden, NY
607-888-3656

Saturday, April 1

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BEARDSLEE CASTLE
Little Falls, NY
315-823-3000
beardsleecastle.com

Friday, April 28
Big Louie Selfie

BIG LOUIE AND THE GANG THAT COULDN’T THINK STRAIGHT

You and the rest of the Bangalone Gang are in deep trouble. Big Louie’s been beaned by a bocci ball and now he ain’t thinking so good. The gang’s got to figure out what to do before arch rival gang leader “Muscles” Marinara has you rubbed out. You better move fast. Word on the street is that ruthless hitman Jake “The Weasel” is on the way.
Saturday, March 11
Children’s Dyslexia Center Fundraiser
HART’S HILL INN
Whitesboro, NY
Tickets: 315-724-9561